Do
you ever find that how you think you come across to others vs. how you
actually come across differs so much so that it startles you?
I
was talking to someone that I met at a work function and we have
subsequently kept in contact. He told me that when he met me, he thought
I was an 'angry woman'! I was a little perturbed, especially if that is
how I come across in an initial meeting. He could not be specific
about what I actually did or said (which did not help), but I do
recollect not being in a good mood that day.
Admittedly
I do have some frustrations, but don't we all at times? Nevertheless I
would not like to think I demonstrate an attitude of anger... I
subsequently asked Honey if I am an angry woman, he said 'sometimes'.
That's why I love him, he is so diplomatic and says and does the right
things. However I guess it means I am an angry woman right now.
I
continued to talk to this new found associate on the topic and
expressed my astonishment at being perceived that way, as I would not
describe myself in that manner. He went on to say '...you may think you
are hiding your anger, but Perception Is Projection'.
I
guess what he is saying is, how I am perceived is due to what I am
projecting outwardly. Thus the frustrations I feel, are in actual fact
visible to all. The underlying reason may not be understood, but the
true sentiment is likely to be more noticeable than I realise. Our
demeanour speaks loudly and is outing us!
How
much do you feel you are hiding but it is really clear for all to see?
So many times we go about and someone asks if everything is alright.
We say everything is fine but it is clearly obvious that is not the
truth. It is because we cannot actually hide it. Others can choose to
ignore it and often that is what takes place, but our inner emotions
cannot always be hidden as much as we think they can. So what can we do
about it? Choose to feel differently!
I was instantly bothered when I realised the notion that 'Perception is Projection', as I thought if it
is obvious that I am not feeling great and I project that for strangers
to notice, then how am I being towards KC? Honey already said I have an
angry woman attitude (at times) so how does my son perceive me? That is
when I decided that I needed to make a choice to relax and let patience
prevail.
I
do not have to start to reflect as to why I am 'angry', I already know.
My underlying anger is intrinsically linked to my lack of patience. The
last thing I want is for my child to withdraw and not want to interact
with me. Avoid approaching me, speaking to me, and needing me as I have
an angry approach. I love that he chooses to stay with me rather than go
for a walk with friends sometimes. I adore that he wants us to go
swimming together, read together, dance together. I hope that we can
share such precious moments for as long as possible.
Being
angry is a choice. I know as there are times an incident can happen and
given the circumstances we react completely differently to that same
incident. I have lost something and become extremely annoyed by it, and
on occasion lost something else of more value and said to myself it will
turn up (and it did). However where one occasion ruined my afternoon as
I became annoyed by the episode, the other occasion saw me forgetting
about the item until it appeared!
We
all have trials and tribulations, we all are able to cope with
different occurrences in a different way depending in how things are
going for us. We all are also able to choose how we react. Whatever we
do it is good to remember that we cannot really hide the negative or
positive vibes we feel deep inside. Regardless of how we try, we will project it
outwardly and whether we are projecting negativity or positivity, that
is exactly, how we are perceived.
Blessings...
