Sunday, 29 April 2012

Perception Is Projection

Do you ever find that how you think you come across to others vs. how you actually come across differs so much so that it startles you?

I was talking to someone that I met at a work function and we have subsequently kept in contact. He told me that when he met me, he thought I was an 'angry woman'! I was a little perturbed, especially if that is how I come across in an initial meeting. He could not be specific about what I actually did or said (which did not help), but I do recollect not being in a good mood that day.

Admittedly I do have some frustrations, but don't we all at times? Nevertheless I would not like to think I demonstrate an attitude of anger...  I subsequently asked Honey if I am an angry woman, he said 'sometimes'. That's why I love him, he is so diplomatic and says and does the right things. However I guess it means I am an angry woman right now.

I continued to talk to this new found associate on the topic and expressed my astonishment at being perceived that way, as I would not describe myself in that manner.  He went on to say ' may think you are hiding your anger, but Perception Is Projection'.

I guess what he is saying is, how I am perceived is due to what I am projecting outwardly. Thus the frustrations I feel, are in actual fact visible to all. The underlying reason may not be understood, but the true sentiment is likely to be more noticeable than I realise. Our demeanour speaks loudly and is outing us!

How much do you feel you are hiding but it is really clear for all to see?  So many times we go about and someone asks if everything is alright.  We say everything is fine but it is clearly obvious that is not the truth. It is because we cannot actually hide it. Others can choose to ignore it and often that is what takes place, but our inner emotions cannot always be hidden as much as we think they can. So what can we do about it?  Choose to feel differently!

I was instantly bothered when I realised the notion that 'Perception is Projection', as I thought if it is obvious that I am not feeling great and I project that for strangers to notice, then how am I being towards KC? Honey already said I have an angry woman attitude (at times) so how does my son perceive me?  That is when I decided that I needed to make a choice to relax and let patience prevail.

I do not have to start to reflect as to why I am 'angry', I already know. My underlying anger is intrinsically linked to my lack of patience. The last thing I want is for my child to withdraw and not want to interact with me. Avoid approaching me, speaking to me, and needing me as I have an angry approach. I love that he chooses to stay with me rather than go for a walk with friends sometimes. I adore that he wants us to go swimming together, read together, dance together. I hope that we can share such precious moments for as long as possible.

Being angry is a choice. I know as there are times an incident can happen and given the circumstances we react completely differently to that same incident. I have lost something and become extremely annoyed by it, and on occasion lost something else of more value and said to myself it will turn up (and it did). However where one occasion ruined my afternoon as I became annoyed by the episode, the other occasion saw me forgetting about the item until it appeared!

We all have trials and tribulations, we all are able to cope with different occurrences in a different way depending in how things are going for us. We all are also able to choose how we react. Whatever we do it is good to remember that we cannot really hide the negative or positive vibes we feel deep inside. Regardless of how we try, we will project it outwardly and whether we are projecting negativity or positivity, that is exactly, how we are perceived.


1 comment:

  1. I love things like these, I recently had a lesson on this in which we took part in observing them and seeing the change.
    I've followed you sweetie and I'd love if you could follow me back as I only have one follower - boohoo :(.
    I'm currently working on a Summer Lookbook and will be uploading my YouTube video today in which I'd love for you to possibly check out.
    Much love, Luce x