I finished my previous role on Friday, and have a week of respite before starting my new one. I am in 'nam again, completing the things I didn't last time, and getting some well deserved rest. I slept in late and didn't get up until noon today, it was a beautiful thing. I have been so tired.
This post is a follow up to my Letting Go post.
Kindred (my non blood brother) sent me several mails yesterday, and as always, he inspired me. He commented on different things that I have written, and left me with some food for thought. The guy is so amazing! Anyway, in one of the mails, he ended it by saying: 'Follow your Soul...'
Bang! That him like a 10 ton truck. I have been toiling with a few things and praying for some guidance or a sign how to move things forward. Friends and family will attest to the fact that I always talk about my waters (gut feel). My waters have been telling me that I need to feel comfortable in all aspects of my life, otherwise I will be off balance (hence the illnesses). Also, that it is my responsibility to fix that which I feel is broken.
Doing so can often mean making shifts in patterns, moving parts around or even discarding the broken or rubbish aspects of your life. Sometimes it is easier to go with the status quo than make waves. I have never been a conformist, I always go with creating waves as opposed to the flow, so why should that change now?
Over the last few months, I have been looking at each element of what makes up my life. Whether it be job, relationship, motherhood, friendships and analysing what I do and do not like about them all. Some I see changes need to be made (hence the new job). Some things are easier to change than others. Adjusting certain fragments of the life one has become accustomed to definitely can arouse fear. Who wants to deliberately put themselves outside of their comfort zones for goodness sakes? However as Denzil Washington says... 'Do what you have to do, to do what you wanna do.'
It is time to make a conscious effort to spring clean my life, discard the refuse and follow my soul - without fear! With that in mind, I have to continue to eliminate the chaff in my life and start to make sure I am good with all aspects.
How often do you sit and complain about the dead end job you have been in for years? Or maybe it is that annoying friend that is always getting you down? You know you would be great in another career but you have fear of failure. You love your partner but doubt that the future with them will live up to your expectations?
When your waters tell you something, you should listen. At times the alarm bells ring LOUD and we choose to ignore them. We know something feels wrong and we go ahead anyway, ignore the signs, the writing on the wall and then regret!
Don't regret. Don't wish you listened to yourself, as no one knows what is right for you more than you.
'Follow your soul...' - Kindred