I ask myself.....Am I an Ambitious Woman trying my hardest to be a Good Mother or am I a Good Mother trying my hardest to be an Ambitious Woman? Which is more important? Personally I think I am both. In answer to which is more important? Again, I would say both.
Being a Good Parent takes so much responsibility. What is a Good Parent anyway, and if one asks for help does that mean they are not a Good Parent?
KC is well clothed, and goes to a good school. He is 5 and has been to every continent except America (that will change when we go to NYC in Sept) and Antarctica. He has the latest electrical gadgets. He is blessed in so many ways. Because I provide all of this does it make me a Good Mother? Nope.
What he needs more than all these things is me. My presence, my parenting. My nurturing. Kids feed off of interaction. They need to be loved. To have time spent. To be taught. I do my best but I cannot do it all. I just can't. Do I feel guilty - Nope. I am only human. Some Parents are hell bent on doing it all to the jeopardy of whatever it takes. Not I. I prefer to ask for help.
I am one of the more fortunate Single Mothers that has someone that lives with us (who we lovingly call Aunty). To those Mothers who do EVERYTHING alone and have no one, I praise you - Seriously! Don't get me wrong. I am still spinning a lot of plates and trying to keep them spinning. Aunty is in no way a substitute for KC's Mother. However I realised very early on that if I wanted to do all I do while I am a sole parent. I need help!
Aunty helps take care of KC, our home and me. She has lived with us for 4 years and due to her love and sincerity, I am able to have a career, a social life, and be a Mother to my son. Without this, I am sure I would pass my days in a zombie like fashion. When she is not around, and after a long 50+ hour working week, maintaining the stamina required to sustain the energy of a growing boy is exhausting.
You see for me, and I only speak for myself. I can be a Good Parent as I have the equilibrium in my life to have space for me. To work as required, to maintain the standard of living we have become accustomed to and to take the time out for KC so we can bond, play, talk, and just be.
I owe Aunty so much and can be who I aspire to be due to her help. Trust me, I am not afraid of asking for help.
As a result, I was able to go to Vietnam and be the 'Ambitious Woman' trying to get my Business moving forward.
My trip to Vietnam was a fruitful one. I managed to do a most of the things intended. Relaxation, business, quality time with Honey, but through it all I missed KC immensely. So much so, that I came back early without completing everything I needed to. Hence my initial question above!
The Ambitious Woman headed to 'nam on a quest for Business. The Good Mother didn't complete the quest (only temporarily I must add), as she wanted to do her parenting.
I am going back when KC leaves. I have delayed progress slightly, but coming back home early was the right thing to do. We had a great day and he didn't leave my side. We read, talked, hugged, made a lot of noise and had quality Mama and Me time.
He leaves for London in 2 days and will be gone for a month. I cannot stop thinking about how long that is. I know he will be fine with the family and will have much fun bonding with TonTon (uncle). It is good for him. I just cannot go but that's where Aunty comes in. Nevertheless, I am already counting the days (30) until he comes back.......
PS: Happy Birthday Sam - One of the Best Mother's in the World!
PPS: Thanks to my Mother for teaching me so much - especially the meaning of Unconditional Love.