I heard the author Toni Morrison ask this question on TV and it made me think twice. I wondered - 'What is the expression on my face when my son enters the room?'
Is it one of genuine glee or do I let the toils of the day show in my expression? Many of us find difficulty in hiding our emotions. I for one am guilty of that. I wear my heart on my sleeve - always. It can inhibit me from hiding my anger, and when I am despondent. At the same time when I feel good, my inner light shines for all to see.
Back to the point in hand, my eyes certainly do not light up enough. I sometimes don't even make eye contact if I am preoccupied. I realise that for me this is wrong. He deserves that I prevent outside factors impeding on my relating to him.
Don't get me wrong. I definitely make an effort. Previously, every morning when he used to interrupt my sleep at the crack of dawn, I would say morning to him in a grouchy manner. Now, no matter how tired, I am I greet him with enthusiasm, joy, and encourage him to come and give me the first of many morning hugs!
It has made a difference to his demeanour. I know this for sure. When I start his day grouchy, he leaves the house for school grouchy. I am mindful of the moments when my mind is on other things and as a consequence I lose sight of the fact that my negative disposition is very clearly noticed. That is going to change today. My focus will be on him and not on any issues that I am probably unable to do much about anyway.
Actually this does not only apply to our children. In fact do your eyes light up when you see your partner? Your parents? Do your words spout love but your body language otherwise?
You know those times when our loved ones can tell we are upset and they ask what's wrong, then we say the famous 'nothing'? Well if nothing is wrong then smile a real wide smile. Let your eyes light up and so will theirs. If there is something wrong but it is nothing to do with them, it is all the more reason to smile wider and not allow yourself to make your problem theirs.