Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Being True To Yourself...



How many of you can say you are 100% true to yourself?

I can say that I am in many aspects if not most aspects of my life, but when it comes to relationships I realised I was masked with fright and hid behind a wall of protection. The thing is, I figured that keeping my guard up and my wits about me would prevent me from hurting too much. I also thought I was being who others expected or wanted to me to be. You see I am a people pleaser to my detriment. If you are happy then so am I. However in this case it meant that the person I portrayed was not the person within.

As of last week I am being my true self in my relationship. Like I have said before, Bob Marley said '...everyone's gonna get hurt, you just have to find out the ones worth suffering for.' As I mentioned in my post go for it.

Leading on from there, this post touches more on the consequences and repercussions of trying to mask our inner-self. Sometimes we actually take on another persona as a means of hiding how we feel. We get so caught up and even confuse ourselves by becoming more like the person we are not. You then end up pretending so much for so long you cannot differentiate your own self. This can be a mistake.

In my case some of the characteristics I portrayed gave the impression that I am aloof, not bothered, and sometimes self absorbed. Not that I cannot ever be such things just as we all can, but that is really far removed from who I am fundamentally. I actually have had to work on being more self-centred and not just taking care of others. Therefore to be seen as self absorbed was non-sensical and upsetting. Nevertheless I owned it, I said the words 'sorry for not being who I am', and now I am working on being true to me and in effect not living a lie.

I also feel that whosoever does not like the true me that I will represent forthwith, need not interact with me. I know the the real me is just fine. I have never really doubted it. It was more a case of not wanting to expose the vulnerable side of myself, to avoid getting hurt and keeping those around me happy (or so I thought).

The thing I have also found out now is, if you are not feeling good about how you are representing yourself (and how can you be if it is not totally real) then those you interact with can feel a negative vibe. Your energy is funky, and they cannot relate to you in the way you intended anyway.

I have yet to see how me being me in every sense will impact my relationships going forward, but I feel liberated. I feel open and honest. I feel like I no longer want to hide behind a wall of fright and angst. I feel that as commendable as it is to try and please others by being what you think they want you to be, it can be just as admirable to please yourself too. I actually think my true colours shine a lot brighter than the fake facade anyway.

Being true to you does not only apply to relationships. There are people that put on a fake voice, those that pretend they possess more opulence and financial security than they really do, others that trick people into thinking they are someone other than who they are with skills they do not possess.

In an attempt to be accepted we can do some pretty silly things. I for one am over it. The effort it takes to be two people instead of the true one is not worth the effort at all. Just be true to you.

Love & Happiness...

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