Why do we Women feel the need to be in control of everything (yes this is a generalisation)? This is very prevalent in our handling of relationships with our partners.
We want to ensure that every stage of the relationship goes according to plan. We plan the dating in our head and rehearse how it should go. We get on the date and we think about how our futures will be with this person. We start seeing them seriously and we dream up the details of our wedding day and how our kids will look. We have the wedding and kids, then it is the university graduation of the kids, the birth of the grand kids and the retirement plan.
There is nothing wrong with planning forward but we often risk not enjoying the essence of relating to our partners in the moment, as we are too busy envisaging living life years ahead.
Men live in the hear and now. If it feels good now they are into it. If it doesn't they are not, and if it constantly feels wrong in the moment, they are gone! If not in body then definitely in spirit.
It took me a while to realise this about guys and now I do as Pierre Corneille said: 'Do your duty and leave the rest to the Gods.' I do my best for the here and now, then leave the rest to the heavens. Do you know, things usually work out just fine.
I am realising that trying to totally control a relationship's destiny is too much like hard work. It is more fulfilling to appreciate the good things now and nurture them as opposed to getting caught up in what might occur next year. It is not just relationships. We want to control everything so life can be perfect. Nothing is perfect when will we realise this?
We even want to control the toilet seat. Do you know how many couples have arguments about this? Typically instigated by us women (yes I was guilty in a past life, now I just put the seat down when I need to use it, just like he lifts it up when he needs to use it). Where was it written that it should be down or indeed up anyway? However full blown debates will occur about the apparent disposition of a toilet seat.
The point is, we simply do not have time to waste being pedantic and controlling all the time (this goes for both men and women). I know I am a lot more laid back, and certain things that would have been bothersome hold little importance nowadays. I try not to be bothered to be honest.
You know leaving life to the Gods, or Universe or whatever one believes in (and if you do not believe in a higher power then leaving things to Chance) is much less pressure. Let things just happen sometimes, and if it isn't how you hoped it would be, it probably shouldn't be. Stop forcing, controlling and just '...leave the rest to the Gods.' It feels great I tell you.
Try it and let me know!