Wednesday, 3 August 2011


Why do people think that by admitting that you cannot cope, it means that you are inadequate?  

I was very upset to hear that a dear friend is in desperate need of help and chose to try and deal with her troubles alone.   It also broke my heart to know that I am so engrossed with my world that I did not see any signs of her need for help.  Nevertheless, we all have a duty to ensure that we seek help when we need it, and do not become engulfed in life’s troubles.

I have mentioned previously that I never fear asking for help and I certainly do not deem it as a weakness.  I see strength in knowing your limitations and seeking assistance as opposed to fighting a losing battle to the detriment of your health.

I sent KC on a holiday for whole month as I needed time out.  Granted not everyone is positioned to do the same and I am not necessarily advocating sending your child packing when things get difficult. However a problem shared is a problem halved as they say.

My Mother and Brother were grateful that KC was sent to them for the Summer holidays and I will be doing so annually.  KC is having the time of his life with his family that he does not hardly see, and Mama is getting the time to relax, relate and release the tension that has built up.

The point being, many Parents try so hard to be the Champions of Everything.  At the same time they need to feed, clothe, house their kids.  To nourish, teach, love their kids.  To support, influence and be all that parents should be.

For Single Parents the responsibility of two rests solely on the shoulders of one person.  Regardless of how great we are as Single Parents, the parenting of a child should in my opinion be done by at least two people.   A child needs a balance.  One person is unable to provide the appropriate balance.  Human nature dictates that one person cannot always cope with all that is required of two  people.

Therefore, we need to remember that asking for help is ok.  When our body is giving out, or our mind is struggling we must seek solace. If we are a two parent family, then ask your partner if you need help.  Sometimes they just do not realise.  If we are alone, then ask someone else you trust.  If friends or family are not an option, maybe seek information from schools, churches or other organisations where you live.

Call a friend, call a family member, do something other than silently suffering and hoping the bad tide will pass.  You see by sitting in a sea of desperation, we may succumb to drowning.  Fighting to keep your head above water is exhausting.

I am going to be there for my friend to the best of my ability.  Monday, I said it is time to say no. Today it is time to say yes.  Yes I am here for you my friend.  I am here!

Be there for a friend.  If you suspect something is wrong it probably is.  Don’t ignore the signs…

If you need help – ask.  Ask and it will probably be given.


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